A place of writing and reflection…
I came into being as the same miracle by which all children are born-conceived in the womb by two parents. There I grew and developed for nine months until You caused me to be birthed in the world.
Like the rest of Your children, I was no mistake. You gave me to parents who’s lives weren’t complete. They were missing your love. They were missing your light.
For fifteen years I grew and I fought. I got into trouble with much that I sought. I struggled with family and how to live life. For what reason was my purpose? For what reason was I brought up this way, in a family that loved me yet quarreled this way?
Then out of nowhere You shined a light like the beacon of a lighthouse guiding ships at night.
You saved me and raised me, and for a while my quarrels subsided. I hungered to learn, to worship and sing. I bought all the CDs and T-shirts. My family saw a change and began to turn Your way.
The radio was tuned to listen to You. I read several devotions and studied Your Word. My mother asked questions and I did my best to answer. I stood at my grandmother’s bed and told her the Gospel.
I made it through high school, but not without a hitch. I got teased and insulted, yet You still gave me friends.
Then our church split which left an awful mess. For the first time I had to decide who I would follow, and under who’s leadership I would place myself. No matter who I chose,
I know You would have prepared me.
You trained me and raised me in the midst of my struggles. Though I fell many times, and still so often do, you brought me to the realization of it all and out of the mess. I still had to deal with the consequences-that’s true-but then there were just some things that fell apart to no avail.
At home and at work were the sources of my trouble and grief. The church and my friends were my only relief. Sitting in the driveway in late night talks were the best.
Then I made a promise I feared would never come to pass. It tugged my heart in two directions-then it happened.
That week was a nightmare. I felt everything crash.
My heart finally broke. I cried from the pain.
Yet You were at work in the midst of the chaos.
Quickly a plan was laid and supplies were gathered, then off You sent me o my destination. But You did not send me alone. You guarded me with friends to be my comfort.
For the first time I had rest again. In a new home You placed me. To a new job You sent me. And back to school You sent me as well.
But You were not done, nor are You now.
I see now where I have changed and places where I still need to. It hasn’t been easy, but for this i wouldn’t complain. Because from a scared little girl you brought me. Doing enough to get by is no longer enough. To choose to do better is a must.
There is still so much to change and no turning back. Forward goes the plow into the next stag of life. Now take what is left of me and make it a melody…