The Faithbook

A place of writing and reflection…

Marriage and Credit Cards


These days there are many issues plaguing Americans.

One of which is the topic of gay marriage.

Some states say, “It’s okay, let’s make it so.” Other states say, “No, this is not for us. We don’t want it.” Still a few more are indecisive or split down the middle on the topic altogether.

It’s quite a controversial subject.

Is it right?

Is it wrong?

America in general seems to be considerably lax about homosexuality itself, but the topic of gay marriage itself easily starts a forest fire.

On the way to a doctor visit my husband asked me, ” What do you think about gay marriage?”

Of course I was taken back for a second. What was he getting at? But I answered anyway.

I know it’s wrong from a Biblical stand point because it’s not what God originally designed. He created us male and female (Genesis 1:27), not Adam and Adam or Eve and Eve. In fact, “a man leaves his father and mother to be joined to his wife” (Genesis 2:24).

But what God created wasn’t enough for us. We came up with our own ways of doing things instead.

In the Bible, the Apostle Paul follows the trail of this thought. It wasn’t enough to turn our backs on God, but that we had to create new ways to do it. This is why homosexuality exists. It is of our own choosing outside of the original design. God himself allowed us to have our way even though it’s wrong. (Romans 1:26-27) God lets it continue openly because He gave us the ability to do so.

However, the Bible itself never condones it.

Rather it condemns it.

At the same time I can’t hate them. I have had gay friends even though I disagree with their lifestyle. (In Christianity we have a saying ” hate the sin but love the sinner”.) Sin—or those deeds that go against what God has set as right—does not justify hating others for any reason. That goes for both sides of the issue.

However, today’s headlines show the opposite.

There are several organizations out there ready to jump on the chance to condemn homosexuality and even more so gay marriage. These groups quickly declare the conflict as the very thing unraveling the foundation of marriage particularly here in America.

“But what about divorce,” my husband asked. “We preach against gay marriage but everyone seems to be turning a blind eye to divorce.”

It’s true. Or at least for the most part it sure seems to look that way.

At one point in America’s history divorce was almost unheard of both inside and outside the church. It doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, but it was clearly not a daily thing or common thought when marital problems arose. According to statistics, today 50% of all marriages are doomed to end in divorce. This fact is the same for people who attend a church regularly as much as those who don’t. There’s really no difference.

Biblically speaking, this is not what God created either.

In Jesus’ day divorce was just as rampant. In Roman culture it was not uncommon for a person to have had multiple divorces. It was life. That was how things operated.

One day a group of teachers came to Jesus and asked Him if divorce was okay.

I think His answer surprised them.

“Divorce was permitted because of the hardness of your own hearts, but it is not how it was in the beginning.” (Matthew 19:8)

Divorce, like homosexuality, exists because of our own stubbornness. Like kids, we want our own way regardless of whether it’s right or wrong. We want the last minute snack before dinner and even go after it though our parents told us no in the first place.

Either way, we don’t treat marriage very well.

It’s just another piece of paper with very little meaning and no real significance.

While approving gay marriage is adding to the problem, the fabric of marriage has been unraveling for long time already.

Our own stubbornness has ruined it.

My husband put it this way:

We treat marriage like a credit card.

We put in the application without really reading the paperwork or terms that come with it. These go relatively ignored. Often, within minutes, we get approval and soon receive our shiny new card. We’re generally excited when we get the card but we fail to value it for what it is: a tool to help us.

Instead we see an instant shopping spree.

Within minutes of getting our card and activating it we hit the mall, shopping center, or online stores. Before you realize it—we’ve maxed out the card.

Then comes the bill.

Then your however-many-months-of-no-interest runs out and that gets piled on as well.

Now you’re stuck with a maxed out card, the baggage of the bill, and interest.

But rather than deal with—sit down and pay it off and learn for the error—we try to get rid of it.

We cancel it or transfer the current debt to another even bigger card with better perks and the cycle starts all over again. Another used up card and another bill. And that pile of interest isn’t getting any smaller either.

When do we learn?

Will we ever?

Divorce isn’t any better than homosexuality or vice versa. God sees them both equal. (James 2:10) However, one gets a majority of the attention as it’s the current heated issue while the other falls to the background as day-to-day activity—even accepted across the board.

How much do we really value marriage?

Is our “marriage card” being used profitably or it is just racking up a bunch of debt? Are we dealing with it or are we just trying to change the rules so we don’t look so bad?

Changing the rules doesn’t change the problem.

It’s still there.

We’ve just “cleaned it up” by sweeping it under a rug so we don’t have to look at it.

What needs to change is us. Unless we do, marriage will continue on it’s downward spiral to nothing more than a legalized living arrangement between to people; void of real purpose, meaning, family, and friendship—definitely not what God intended.


Copyright The Faithbook 2013
Image courtesy of


One comment on “Marriage and Credit Cards

  1. saoirse7freedom
    Apr 14, 2013

    Sorry I just got to this (don’t hate me!). 😀 But this is excellent! Great insight!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


Photo curtesy of

In Mosul, ISIS militants marked with a spray-painted ن (the Arabic letter for “N”) all Christian property to be seized after the ultimatum. “N”, or ن​, is the first letter of the Arabic word for Christian, “Nasrani” or Nazarene. #pray4thepersecuted

GodsDreamer on Instagram

There was an error retrieving images from Instagram. An attempt will be remade in a few minutes.

%d bloggers like this: